Part 1
Do you know that nearly half of sexually active non-menopausal women 30-50 years old report they experience low sexual desire frequently? You aren’t alone and it affects 85% of women and their romantic relationships. Unfortunately, hormone levels and stress are only 2 of the common factors. There are other more psychological and emotional factors that can undermine a healthy sexuality. Andreea Sofalvi, LPC, PhD. offers here the beginning of some understanding and exploration on the topic.
The Role of Fantasies and Sexuality:
The concept of fantasies has always been fascinating to me. Fantasizing and daydreaming are important parts of childhood as they stimulate creativity, imagination and are crucial for social-emotional development. Not to mention that for some who experience trauma early on, they are crucial tools for survival. They foster coping skills, emotion regulation and problem solving skills. Fantasizing is intrinsically human; there is no other living thing that engages in fantasies. Sadly, we sometimes lose that part of ourselves as we grow up; we lose the playful, imaginative part of us as we deal with real life and all it brings. And that is why I feel that fantasy training and boosting the ability to engage in mental imagery is vital in adult development. I am especially referring to sexual fantasies and their role in a person’s life. Sexual fantasies are erotic thoughts or mental images that generate sexual arousal, with or without physical stimulation. Sexual fantasies provide a clue into people’s values, morals, and realities.
Fantasies can be used therapeutically to affect libido, evoke arousal, decrease the impact of sexual dysfunctions as well as increase playfulness and sexual repertoire in solo and coupled play. Even though you might not be a kinky person, your brain and therefore your fantasies can be. Through sexual fantasies, people can safely explore sexual elements that they would not otherwise have in real life such as bondage, submissiveness or dominance, rough sex, moresomes or varied other kinks. Fantasies can be a gateway to exploration of these interests in real life. Sexual fantasies are highly personal and can be very random; chances are that no matter how quirky or daring yours is, it’s probably not as uncommon as you think. Believe it or not, fantasy sharing, reflecting on your emotions and body sensations in your fantasies can help us therapists to gain insight into your underlying beliefs, desires, and emotional patterns and a great way to explore and heal emotions such as shame and guilt.
We will continue to explore different topics. Stay tuned for our next blog series.
Also, if you want to explore this topic in a safe place and go deeper with similar women led by an expert in the field, please, check out our upcoming Tune-Up your sexuality Group, which is coming soon in 2025. To be added to our interested in list, please fill out this form or email us at info@dcvacounseling-psychotherapy.com
